The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck PDF

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck PDF

Download The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck PDF book free online. A superstar blogger cuts through the nonsense in this generation-defining self-help book to show us how to stop trying to be “positive” all of the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. GET FREE AUDIOBOOK

We’ve been persuaded for decades that positive thinking is the key to a happy, fulfilling existence. Mark Manson says, “Fk positivity.” “Let’s face it, st is fked, and we’re stuck with it.” Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate in his enormously successful Internet blog. He says it like it is, providing a dose of raw, refreshing, and honest truth that is desperately absent in today’s society. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fk is his response to the coddling, make-everyone-feel-good mentality that has infiltrated American society and spoilt a generation by awarding gold medals for simply showing up.

Manson makes the case, backed up by scholarly evidence and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives depends on learning to stomach lemons better, not on our capacity to transform lemons into lemonade. “Not everyone can be amazing, there are winners and losers in society, and part of it is not fair or your fault,” says the author. Manson teaches us to become aware of and accept our limitations. We can begin to find the courage, tenacity, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we desire once we face our fears, flaws, and doubts, once we stop running and evading and start confronting difficult facts.

We can only give a fk about so many things, therefore we need to figure out which ones are truly important, Manson explains. Money is good, but caring about what you do with your life is far better, because true wealth is defined by experience. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fk is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead fulfilled, grounded lives. It’s a much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, complete with fascinating stories and profane, brutal humor.

Summary of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck PDF

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck is a book that defies self-help traditions by encouraging readers to NOT attempt, to say no frequently, and to embrace negative thinking. Being content with being different and caring about something more essential than adversity is what it means to not give a fck.
You have to care about something.
The Big Five Concepts
The traditional approach to self-help concentrates on what you aren’t. It also zeroes in on what you already consider to be your particular flaws and failures and highlights them for you.
Giving a fck about more isn’t the answer to a happy existence; it’s about giving a fuck about less, about only what is true, immediate, and important. You’re locked in what Manson refers to as “The Feedback Loop from Hell” when you’re angry about being angry or anxious about being nervous. You short-circuit the Feedback Loop from Hell by not caring a fck that you’re feeling lousy; you tell yourself, “I feel like sit, but who gives a fck?”
Because we can now see or know an unlimited number of things, there are an infinite number of ways to learn that we don’t measure up, that we’re not good enough, that things aren’t as great as they could be. And it tears us apart on the inside.
Subtlety #1: What Doesn’t Give a Fck Mean? Not giving a fck does not imply indifference; rather, it implies acceptance of one’s differences. A life lesson hidden in plain sight. There is no such thing as a person who does not give a fck. You have to care about something. You can’t be both a joke and an embarrassment to certain people while still being a significant and life-changing presence for others. Subtlety #2: You must first give a fck about something more important than hardship in order to not give a fck about adversity. If you find yourself continuously giving too many fcks over minor annoyances, chances are you don’t have much to give a serious fck about in your life. Subtlety #3: Whether you realize it or not, you are constantly deciding what matters to you. Maturity is defined as the ability to only care about what is truly fckworthy. The concept of not caring a fck is a simple approach of reorienting our life expectations and deciding what is and is not significant. The Art of Not Giving a Fck in a Subtle Way Summary
Desire for more pleasant experiences is a negative experience in and of itself. And, ironically, accepting one’s terrible experience is a wonderful experience in and of itself.

The more you try to feel better all of the time, the less content you will become, because pursuing something just confirms that you don’t have it in the first place. Alan Watts, a philosopher, referred to it as “The Backwards Law.”

Surviving the related negative experience is the key to achieving anything valuable in life.

Not giving a f*ck means facing life’s most daunting and challenging situations and still taking action.

When you give too many fcks—when you give a fck about everyone and everything—you’ll start to believe that you’re always entitled to be comfortable and happy, that everything is supposed to be exactly the way you want it to be.

Pain and loss are unavoidable, and we should abandon our attempts to avoid them.

The most painful facts in life are usually the most difficult to accept.

Suffering is biologically beneficial, hence we suffer for that purpose. It is nature’s favourite catalyst for change.

Don’t expect a life free of challenges. There isn’t anything like it. Rather, wish for a life filled with positive issues.

Problems do not go away; they are simply exchanged and/or upgraded.

Problems that you enjoy having and solving lead to happiness.

Nobody who is truly happy has to tell himself that he is happy in front of a mirror.

Emotions are merely biological cues that point you in the direction of positive change.

Negative feelings are a wake-up call. It’s because you’re expected to do something when you experience them. [Note: Tony Robbins goes into great detail about negative emotions in his book Awaken the Giant Within.]

It doesn’t mean something is wonderful just because it feels good.

Everything comes with a cost—whatever makes us feel happy will certainly make us feel miserable as well.

“What pain do you desire in your life?” is a more interesting question, one that most people never contemplate. “For what are you willing to put up a fight?” Because it appears to be a bigger factor in how our lives turn out.

“What do you want to enjoy?” isn’t what decides your success. “What agony do you want to endure?” is the pertinent question. The road to happiness is paved with s*itheaps and humiliation.

What you’re willing to fight for defines who you are.

Our triumphs are determined by our struggles.

Our issues, together with slightly better, slightly upgraded problems, give rise to our delight.

The problem with the self-esteem movement is that it based self-esteem on people’s feelings about themselves. However, how people feel about their negative elements of themselves is a true and accurate reflection of their self-worth.

People who believe they are entitled see everything that happens in their lives as either a confirmation or a threat to their own grandeur.

The actual test of a person’s self-worth is how she feels about her unpleasant experiences, not how she feels about her positive ones.

“Yes, sometimes I’m irresponsible with money,” “Yes, sometimes I exaggerate my own successes,” “Yes, I rely too much on others to support me and should be more self-reliant,” “Yes, I rely too much on others to support me and should be more self-reliant,” “Yes, I rely too much on others to support me and should be more self-reliant,” “Yes, I rely too much on others to support me and should be more self-

Many people fear accepting mediocrity because they believe that if they do, they will never achieve anything, will never progress, and that their lives will be meaningless.

The few people who succeed at something truly outstanding do so not because they believe they are exceptional. They, on the other hand, become exceptional as a result of their obsession for improvement. And their concern with improvement originates from a firm conviction that they aren’t all that wonderful.

If pain is unavoidable, the question we should be asking isn’t “How can I end suffering?” but “How do I cease suffering?” “However, why am I suffering—for what reason?”

Self-awareness is akin to peeling an onion. The basic comprehension of one’s emotions is the first layer. The ability to ask why we feel specific emotions is the second layer. This layer of inquiry aids us in determining the source of our overwhelming feelings. We can ideally do something to change the root problem once we understand it. Our personal values are the third level: Why do I think something is a success or failure? How do I choose to assess myself? What criterion am I using to evaluate myself and those around me?

Everything we are and do is based on our values. Everything dependent on those values—thoughts, emotions, and day-to-day feelings—will be out of whack if what we value is unhelpful, if what we consider success/failure is badly chosen.

Much of the advice out there is superficial, aiming to help people feel better in the short term while the fundamental long-term issues remain unsolved.

Consider something that has been bothering you for a long time. Now consider why it bothers you. There’s a good chance the answer will involve some type of failure.

What is absolutely true about your circumstance is less significant than how you view it, how you choose to measure and value it.

The measurements by which we judge ourselves and others are determined by our ideals.

You must adjust what you value and/or how you measure failure/success if you want to change how you see your challenges.

Happiness is the result of pleasure, not the cause of it.

According to research, if one can meet basic bodily necessities (food, shelter, and so on), the relationship between happiness and worldly prosperity quickly fades.

Constant positivity is a sort of avoidance, not a viable answer to life’s problems—problems that, by the way, should invigorate and motivate you if you choose the correct values and measurements.

We reject the presence of our life’s troubles when we force ourselves to stay happy at all times. And by denying our difficulties, we deny ourselves the opportunity to solve them and create happiness.

Problems give our lives a sense of purpose and significance.

Some of life’s most significant moments are not pleasant, successful, well-known, or positive.

Good values are 1) grounded in reality, 2) socially beneficial, and 3) immediate and manageable. Bad values are 1) superstitious, 2) socially damaging, and 3) uncontrollable.

When we have bad values—that is, when we establish low standards for ourselves and others—we are effectively giving a f*ck about the things that don’t important, things that really make our lives worse.

The notion that we choose it and are accountable for it is often the only difference between an issue being painful or powerful.

If you’re unhappy in your current circumstances, it’s likely because you believe some aspect of it is beyond your control—that there’s an issue you can’t handle, a problem that was imposed upon you without your consent.

What occurs to us isn’t always under our control. However, we always have influence over how we understand and respond to what happens to us. [Note: Ryan Holiday goes into great detail regarding perspective in his book The Obstacle Is the Way.)

We will have more influence over our lives if we choose to embrace responsibility for our lives. [Note: Principle #1 in Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles is “Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life.”)

As a result, accepting responsibility for our issues is the first step toward resolving them.

Many people are hesitant to take responsibility for their problems because they assume that taking responsibility for them entails being at fault for them.

The blame/responsibility fallacy permits people to absolve themselves of responsibility for their issues.

Our perceptions are flexible, and our memories are notoriously untrustworthy.

The more your identity is threatened, the more you will avoid it. This is known as “The Law of Avoidance” by Manson.

We free ourselves up to act (and fail) and learn when we let go of the myths we tell ourselves about ourselves.

Your troubles aren’t particularly unusual or exceptional. That’s why letting go feels so good.

Everything will seem to threaten you the narrower and rarer the identity you establish for yourself. As a result, explain oneself in the most basic and everyday terms imaginable.

Questions to help you create more unpredictability in your life.

What if I’m completely wrong?
What does it signify if I’m mistaken?
Would being mistaken produce a better or worse difficulty for myself and others than my existing situation?
It’s important to realize that every change in your life requires you to be wrong about something.

The ability to consider and assess other ideals without necessarily accepting them is possibly the most important talent for really changing one’s own life.

Manson tries to live by a few principles, but one that he’s developed through time is this: if it’s a choice between him and everyone else, it’s far, far, far more probable that he’s the one who’s screwed up.

If it feels like you’re up against the world, it’s really just you vs yourself.

The size of your success is based on how many times you’ve failed at something, and improvement is based on thousands of tiny failures. If someone is better at something than you are, it’s because she has failed more times than you have. If someone is worse than you, it’s most likely because he hasn’t had the same difficult learning experiences as you.

We can only be truly successful if we are willing to fail at something. We are unwilling to succeed if we are unwilling to fail.

Life is about not knowing what to do and then doing it anyhow.

Motivation is not only the result of action; it is also the source of it.

If you’re lacking motivation to make a significant change in your life, start by doing something—anything—and then using the reaction to that action to motivate yourself.

We urge ourselves forward when the criterion of success becomes merely acting—when any result is perceived as progress and essential, when inspiration is seen as a reward rather than a requirement. We have the freedom to fail, and failure propels us forward.

Finally, the only way to find meaning and significance in one’s life is to reject all other options, to limit one’s freedom, and to commit to one place, one belief, or (gasp) one person.

In order to value something, we must all give a f*ck about it. And in order to value something, we must reject everything that isn’t it.

A deep and subtle kind of entitlement is the desire to avoid rejection at all costs, to avoid confrontation and conflict, to try to accept everything equally and to make everything cohere and harmonize.

The difference between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship is determined by two factors: 1) how effectively each partner accepts responsibility, and 2) each person’s readiness to both reject and be rejected by their spouse.

Two people who strive to solve each other’s problems in order to feel better about themselves are signs of an unhealthy relationship. Rather, two individuals in a healthy relationship tackle their own challenges in order to feel good about each other.

People who blame others for their own feelings and actions do so because they believe that if they portray themselves as victims all the time, someone will come along and save them and give them the affection they’ve always desired. Entitled people who blame others for their feelings and actions do so because they believe that if they “fix” and “rescue” their spouse, they will be rewarded with the love and appreciation they’ve always desired.

It might be difficult for people to distinguish between doing something voluntarily and doing something out of responsibility. Here’s a litmus test for you: “How would the relationship alter if I refused?” you might wonder. Ask yourself, “How would my relationship alter if my partner declined something I wanted?”

Giving a fck about your spouse isn’t about giving a fck about whatever he or she gives a fck about; it’s about giving a fck about your relationship regardless of the f*cks he or she gives.

Conflict exists to show us who is truly there for us and who is only there for the money.

Both parties must be willing and able to say and hear no in order for a relationship to be healthy.

When confidence is lost, it can only be restored if the following two events occur: 1) the trust-breaker admits and owns up to the underlying values that led to the breach, and 2) the trust-breaker establishes a solid track record of improving behavior over time.

Death is the light against which everything of life’s purpose is judged.

Confronting the fact of our own mortality is critical because it eliminates all of life’s mediocre, fragile, and shallow values.

You will die as a result of the fact that you were fortunate enough to have lived.

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