The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi
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The Courage to be Disliked shows you how to unlock the power within yourself to become your best and truest self, change your future and find lasting happiness. Using the theories of Alfred Adler, one of the three giants of 19th century psychology alongside Freud and Jung, the authors explain how we are all free to determine our own future free of the shackles of past experiences, doubts and the expectations of others. It’s a philosophy that’s profoundly liberating, allowing us to develop the courage to change, and to ignore the limitations that we and those around us can place on ourselves.
The result is a book that is both highly accessible and profound in its importance. Millions have already read and benefited from its wisdom. Now that The Courage to be Disliked has been published for the first time in English, so can you
Table of Contents
“Marie Kondo, but for your brain.”, Hello Giggles
“Adlerian psychology meets Stoic philosophy in Socratic dialogue. Compelling from front to back. Highly recommend.” — Marc Andreessen, venture capitalist and founder of Andreessen Horowitz
“A nuanced discussion of a complex theory, with moments of real philosophical insight…. [It’s] refreshing and useful to read a philosophy that goes against many contemporary orthodoxies. More than a century since Adler founded his school of psychology, there’s still insight and novelty in his theories.”, Quartzy
“[The Courage to be Disliked guides] readers toward achieving happiness and lasting change… For those seeking a discourse that helps explain who they are in the world, Kishimi and Koga provide an illuminating conversation.”, Library Journal
Review of The Courage to be Disliked
This book was really famous in Japan, it became number one on the bestseller list in 2014. After then, it translated in Korean and it stayed on bestseller list for 33 weeks in Korea. At first time I heard this news, I doubt about this book. Because I had some biases about best sellers. But my professor just recommended this book to me, and I read it. And this book was totally different from other best sellers.
This book talks about ‘Courage’. It says we need courage to be hated. Because people nowdays are too concentrated on other’s opinion and don’t want to be hated. And then they don’t have enough time to focus on their real selves. Also, they don’t know how wonderful they are. That’s why we need courage to be hated.
Maybe some people think it’s strange. Because in common sense, we don’t want to be hated and just hold ourselves up to standards of others. At first time I thought like that, too. But when I finished this book, I realized that I am a main character of my life. More interesting, this book is based on psychologist, Adler. Adler was a contemporary of Freud and Jung. But he claimed the other side of Freud and Jung. Freud and Jung focused on result, while Adler focused on process and purpose. It means Freud and Jung believe that past effect future, the Trauma Theory. In contrast, Adler says past is just past and it has no effect to future. We only need to focus on now and present. So that’s why we should concentrate on our own selves.
I totally agree with Adler. Because sometimes Trauma Theory make people just stuck in their past and self-justification themselves. Whatever happened over the past of year is history. It is just a PAST. So what we have to do is focusing on HERE NOW and ourselves. That’s why we need courage to be hated.
Before I read this book, I worried about other’s opinions about me. And It was so tired life. After I finished this book, I can totally concentrate on myself, and I don’t care about other’s judgements about me. That is not my field, but other’s field. I really want to thank this book, and now I understand why this stayed so long in best seller in Japan and Korea. I hope this book translated in English, so other people can read this book.
Review of The Courage to be Disliked
Inspiring, thought-provoking and deeper than a Taylor Swift song.
‘All you can do with regard to your own life is choose the best path that you believe in. On the other hand, what kind of judgement do people pass on that choice? That is the task of other people, and is not a matter you can do anything about.’
This quote kinda sums up the book. It’s about returning the focus to only what you can affect, and living your own life a moment at a time.
There are some ideas here that are familiar to me but I really enjoyed the way they were approached. Yes, you need to have the courage to be who you believe you should be, with no influence from the opinions of others. This book discusses how that becomes possible. It’s not something you can change instantly, despite what this book suggests. You need to be open, and work constantly to remind yourself of practising task separation etc. You need to continue working at these habits until they become second nature. Like anything, changing your mindset requires practice.
Okay. Let’s talk about the ugly stuff.
There are some really tough ideas here; one in particular being, ‘trauma does not exist’. This is quite damaging if you take it at surface level, but once you understand the Alderian psychological viewpoint they are communicating, it becomes a little clearer. It’s not about victim blaming or anything similar – it’s about how a person responds to traumatic events. And yes, it is really tough to comprehend, but the notion is that people who let their life be defined by traumatic events in their past are holding onto it for some subconscious purpose. I think when you contemplate it further, it goes a way to explaining why some people are broken by trauma, where others become stronger. But the whole overall concept is about living life in the moment so it makes sense that they are discarding past events. If you’re offended easily, this is one section that’s going to put you off completely. But if you’re open-minded, let the book explain itself and it might actually help you with overcoming trauma.
This book is quite easy to read, which is uncommon for a book that deals with some pretty heavy material. The format of the Youth vs Philosopher in conversation means that objections you might have are likely to be addressed. There were some objections that I thought were a bit ridiculous, so I guess how you feel about the format will depend on how skeptical you are.
I wouldn’t necessarily call this a hippie book, but it’s very in line with the ‘mindfulness’ trend that’s been taking over the world lately. Its simplicity will help it reach a wider audience and it’s quite logical. It gets a little confusing in parts but overall there are some great nuggets of wisdom contained within its text.
I really enjoyed reading this, but could only do so at certain times because if you don’t quite process a sentence you lose track easily. So make sure your mind is open when you read it and you should take away a lot of new ideas.
Then all you have to do is drink.
About the Author
Ichiro Kishimi was born in Kyoto, where he currently resides. He writes and lectures on Adlerian psychology and provides counseling for youths in psychiatric clinics as a certified counselor and consultant for the Japanese Society of Adlerian Psychology. He is the translator, into Japanese, of selected writings by Alfred Adler—The Science of Living and Problems of Neurosis—and he is the author of Introduction to Adlerian Psychology, in addition to numerous other books.
Fumitake Koga is an award-winning professional writer and author. He has released numerous bestselling works of business-related and general non-fiction. He encountered Adlerian psychology in his late twenties and was deeply affected by its conventional wisdom–defying ideas. Thereafter, Koga made numerous visits to Ichiro Kishimi in Kyoto, gleaned from him the essence of Adlerian psychology, and took down the notes for the classical “dialogue format” method of Greek philosophy that is used in this book.