Spoof News 2007-2011: Volume 2 By Ben Macnair PDF

Download Spoof News 2007-2011: Volume 2 By Ben Macnair PDF book free online – From Spoof News 2007-2011: Volume 2 By Ben Macnair PDF: Volume 2 of Ben Macnair’s hilarious Spoof News stories from 2007-2011, originally published on thespoof.com website.

Most of the stories in this book are concerned with British news and celebrities (you may not recognise some of the names but you’ll certainly get the gist), but you’ll find some hilarious U.S. and World news spoofs that will also have you in stitches.

Excerpt:

Doctor Who?

There was consternation amongst the kings of Science Fiction geekery, when not one, but two Doctor Whos appeared on the BBC’s charity flagship show, Children in Need.

David Tennant, and Peter Davison both appeared in the show, which also included The Spice Women, Take that Robbie Williams, West (No Bryan) Life, and Boy (With Ronan ‘I have a mortgage to pay’ keating) Zone, and a number of well respected newsreaders in tights.

Simon Fi (or Si-Fi to all of this cyber-mates) said: ‘This has come as a complete shock to us. It is rare enough to see Doctor Who in a prime-time slot (he has never seen BBC3), but to see two together is unheard of, at least in my fifteen hundred lifetimes. I don’t know what effect it will have on the space time continuum, but I know that it can’t be a good one’.

We tried to explain to Mr Fi that Tennant and Davison are simply actors, but he refused to believe us. He was on a forum with five hundred members, discussing this new worry, black holes, and the forthcoming new X Files film.
A spokesman for the Doctor Who Fan-club said: ‘We love these people, they provide us with a job, but I just wish that they would try to get out of the house more’.
 
Children to be reading by 6

David Cameron, puppet master of the British Conservative party has said that an important piece of information was missing from his latest statement.

‘When I said that I wanted Children reading by Six’ said the shiny faced leader, ‘I meant I wanted them reading by 6pm. I actually want them reading by the age of four’

Mr Child, from Chutney on the Fritz said ‘This is just ridiculous. I want my Ú  children reading by three, otherwise I feel that the Country has let them down’. The hour of enforced reading for all children will start in December, just as Children are getting ready for Christmas. Mr Child continued: ‘This is all very well, especially in the Winter, but is Davey boy really saying that he wants to see Children reading in the Summer, rather than outside playing?’
 
More Missing Disks

Following the news that two discs are missing in Britain’s Postal System, it has emerged that Friends Reunited, the site for people who did not keep in touch with people has also lost all of its discs in the post.

Mr Friend, from the site said: ‘It was a big mistake really. We send the discs by post, through Postman Pat, and they went missing. We should have sent them by recorded delivery, or as I now find out, I could have simply have emailed the information’.

Mr Jerry Mandering from Chutney on the Fritz said: ‘This is just dreadful news. I have been telling people on Friends Reunited complete lies, and now they will know the truth about me. Everybody thinks I have become the geek I was in school, but I am not, I have a good job, do Archery, and lead my own chapter of Star Trek Fans on the Internet. You see, I could have been a big nerd‘.

Mr Mandering 53 recently lost his forty years worth of Stamp Albums, and has not been able to sleep for weeks.
Mr Jay Walker, of Texas said: ‘I keep in contact with all of my friends. It is far cheaper than the £7.50 you have to pay to join up to be reminded of people you wanted to forget’.
We did not tell Mr Friend that all of the information for Friends Reunited is also widely available on the Internet for the whole world to see.
 
Continuing ban of Alan

The world wide banning of all Alan’s from public buildings will come into force during the new year, said a politician with ambitions to being the king ruler of the world.

Mr. Alan Allen, of the preserving Alan Society in Basildon said: ‘This is political correctness gone mad. It is alright for the Zebedes, and Zachariahs, but do all the country’s Alans really want to go the same was as the country’s Abigails. Nothing  much was said when that happened, because there are more Alans in the country, but what about all of the Brians, Beths, and Chriss, soon to be kept in their own homes for all eternity. Where will the money for the enhanced security come from, then, eh?’

We pointed out to him that it was only a ban on people called Alan. His son, Alan Alan Alan Allen II has long since emigrated to Australia, where no such ban exists. It does not exist in this country either, but we made it up to give Mr Allen a society to form.

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