How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age PDF

How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age PDF

Download How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age PDF book free online. For more than seventy-five years, Dale Carnegie’s tried-and-true wisdom has helped millions of readers climb the corporate and personal ladders to success. The first and best book of its kind has been relaunched to address the complexities of modern times, and it will teach you how to communicate with diplomacy and tact, leverage a strong network, win people’s trust, project your message widely and clearly, be a more effective leader, increase your ability to get things done, and maximize the power of digital tools. GET FREE AUDIOBOOK

Dale Carnegie’s straightforward approach to communication has lasted a century, affecting millions of people. Warren Buffett’s only diploma is a certificate from Dale Carnegie Training, which he proudly displays in his office. Carnegie gave Lee Iacocca the guts to speak in front of an audience, according to Iacocca. Carnegie’s lectures were “life-changing,” according to Dilbert creator Scott Adams. Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc. has redesigned his prescriptions and advise for our challenging digital age in order to highlight the ongoing relevance of his methods. We may communicate with different technologies and at a faster pace today, but Carnegie’s advice on how to effectively communicate, lead, and work has stood the test of time.

Summary of How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age PDF

This book is a reimagining of the original concepts from How to Win Friends and Influence People, with examples from today’s society and readers who are putting the principles into practice today.

I was first suspicious of the original book’s premises, dismissing them as “common sense.” I have a new appreciation for them now that I have a better knowledge of some of the nuances of negotiating and operating in a team atmosphere at work.

They are simple but effective, and we should all attempt to remember them on a regular basis.

Notes in Depth
Why Does Carnegie’s Advice Still Hold Water?
No such thing as a neutral exchange exists. You either make someone a bit better or a little worse when you leave them.
Communication that is more than just clever

When people follow you because of what you’ve done for them and because of who you are, you’ve reached the two highest degrees of influence.
Begin gently.

Because all of these things demand strong human commitment, soft skills connect hard skills to operational productivity, organizational synergy, and commercial relevance.
Every medium’s effectiveness is determined by its meaning. You can choose the most effective media for your endeavor after you have something valuable to give.
Today’s Straightforward Advice for Dealing with People

The most obvious examples of altruistic behavior can be found in everyday situations.
Part 1: Engagement Essentials
1: Put your boomerangs in the ground
Don’t chastise, condemn, or complain about anything.
When you utilize a means to criticize someone, they feel forced to defend themselves. When someone is defensive, there isn’t much you can say to get beyond the barricades he’s put up.
Critical comments serve as unseen boomerangs in this way. They land on the thrower’s head and return.
The simplest method is to concentrate on improving yourself rather than others.
Change your attitude toward the media from one of exposure and criticism to one of encouragement and exhortation.
As a differentiating technique, avoid badmouthing. Its long-term effects are significantly more detrimental than beneficial.
Remove your agenda from your messages to make them more relevant. Above all, the people who receive your messages want to get something out of it.
Before speaking to another person, take a deep breath and relax.
2: Recognize and Appreciate What Is Beneficial
Consider sending a similar message to people you want to impact. Have you expressed to them how valuable they are to you? This simple notion, when practiced on a daily basis, has tremendous power.
We all have an insatiable want to be valued and to know that we matter.
“Every man is entitled to be recognized for his best moments,” Emerson wrote.”
Which of your current relationships is the most strained? What would it look like if you started focusing on and affirming that person’s best moments?
Ultimately, acquiring influence is about standing out and ascending to a higher plane in someone else’s mind and heart.
One common want unites us all: to be valued by others. 3: Connect with Core Desires
It is not possible to outsmart others when it comes to influencing them. It’s a matter of figuring out what they really want and presenting it to them in a way that benefits both of you.
Because so much of our digital contact is one-way, we believe we have little opportunities to learn about other people’s perspectives.
We are significantly more likely to concentrate on how we can best promote our own points, whether fast, broadly, or both.
It’s easy to get caught up in the chaos and lose sight of our goals: connection, influence, agreement, and collaboration.
Part 2: How to Make a Long-Lasting Impression
1: Take an interest in the interests of others
Dogs have a divine insight that if you become really interested in other people, you can make more friends in minutes than you can in months of attempting to get other people interested in you.
We are drawn to what feels genuine and long-lasting. We support those whose messages are mutually beneficial.
When you include other people’s interests into your own–not just to clarify your market or determine your audience–you’ll find that your own interests are addressed in the process of assisting others.
“The one investment that never fails is goodness,” observed Henry David Thoreau.
The bottom line is that before you can expect anyone to be interested in you, you must first become truly interested in others.
2: Make a happy face
This phenomena has a simple explanation: when we smile, we are expressing our delight in being with them, in meeting them, and in connecting with them. They, in turn, are relieved to be working with us.
Aside from emoticons and emojis, the only way to transmit a digital smile is through your voice, whether written or spoken. The tone you use in an email, as well as the words you use, are all important instruments for friendliness and subsequent influence.
Always start and end your communication on a positive note, not one that is negative or disconnected.
Numerous studies have proven that smiling improves the tone with which your words are spoken, even when you’re on the phone.
Reign with Names is number three.
Rather than using hollow, shortened greetings like “Hey” or “Hi,” utilize a greeting that includes the person’s name.
4: Pay attention for a longer time
The power of listening, like that of smiling, is immense. When you listen carefully, you not only make an immediate impression, but you also develop a firm foundation for a long-term relationship. Who can say no to being around someone who puts his own opinions on hold in order to cherish yours?
5: Talk about what’s important to them.
When it comes to topics that matter to others, you need to talk about what important to them.
When you initiate contacts with what matters to others, you are ultimately forming a community.
Businesses refer to it as a customer retention strategy, but it’s more accurately described as a lively, engaging conversation among friends.
6: Make Others’ Lives a Little Easier
Small-picture thinking is the cornerstone for making the world a better place for others.
We will ignore the minor possibilities that make the biggest difference if our attention are only focused on the huge payoffs.
Many people make the mistake of connecting creativity with action.
“Moving connections from manipulative to meaningful,” argues Robbins, is the actual key to earning friends and influencing people today. The only way to achieve this is to keep adding meaning and value.”
Every connection with his wife conveyed one of two messages to her: either she was the most important person in the world to him or she wasn’t. He’d sent that message far too many times.
Many ancient teachings all point to the same conclusion: don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want done to you.
Part 3: Earning and Maintaining Others’ Trust
1: Avoid Getting Into Debates
Arguing with the other person rarely leads to anything; instead, it usually leads to each person becoming more convinced of his or her own rightness. You may be completely correct, yet arguing with you is just as fruitless as arguing with someone who is completely incorrect.
Finally, you must place a larger value on interdependence than independence, and recognize that polite negotiation is more effective in the long run than a noncompliance campaign.
2: Never Use the Phrase “You’re Wrong”
“When each party admits that the other may have reasonable concerns,” [Deepak] Malhotra adds, “negotiations become more effective.””
Mahatma Gandhi admonished, “Friendship that insists on agreement on all subjects is not worth the term.” “For friendship to be genuine, it must be able to bear the weight of genuine disagreements, no matter how abrasive they may be.”
In a recent interview, corporate behavior analyst Esther Jeles noted, “We talk because we know something.” “Or we believe we have discovered something.” Or because there is an expectation that we’should’ know something at work.”
However, beginning a conversation with a clean slate makes us more humble and honest. We realize that we may not have all of the information and that we may not be the only ones who are correct. Even better, we open the door to genuine collaboration–the fusion of minds, ideas, and experiences into something bigger than the sum of two individuals.
You’ll only make enemies if you tell folks they’re wrong. When they’re told they’re wrong, few people react logically; instead, they react emotionally and defensively since you’re doubting their judgment. You should not simply avoid saying “You’re mistaken.” You can tell if someone is wrong with a look, an accent, or a gesture, therefore you must be careful not to pass judgment in all of your communications.
Always err on the side of diplomacy. Accept the possibility that you are incorrect. Accept the possibility that the other person is correct. Be willing to compromise. Pose inquiries. Above all, think about the matter from the other’s point of view and respect that individual.
3: Admit Faults Immediately and Clearly
If you’ve made a mistake, it’s considerably preferable to keep the information from spreading. Come clean as soon as possible and in a credible manner.
If we admit our mistakes quickly and emphatically, it’s as if we’re sending out a full-page press release, confirming that we genuinely care about the people we’ve hurt, that we’re humbled, and that we want to make things right. When people realize that we view ourselves and the circumstance correctly, they rarely hang on to their anger and disappointment. Those who are willing to come clean right away are considerably more forgiven.
While we all wish we could go back to our pre-error lives after making a mistake, we must remember that we are the ones who changed the conditions. It is not the responsibility of others to restore the life we have taken from ourselves. Only we have the ability to reclaim our lives. That always starts with swiftly and loudly recognizing our flaws.
4: Start off on a positive note.
When we have favorable feelings for another individual, we are more likely to agree with him or perceive things from his perspective.
Even if the other person is a source of sorrow, irritation, or rage, nothing sets the tone more successfully than kindness and affability when it comes to initiating conversations.
Abraham Lincoln once said, “I don’t like that man.” “I need to learn more about him.””
Access Affinity is number five.
Chris Brogan, speaking of a business storm rather than a communication blizzard:
“Several touches underpin conversations and relationships. People would use each touch in the old marketing and communication industry to beg for something, to issue a call to action. This isn’t how social media works… They’re there to allow you to contact someone who has chosen to be in a relationship with you… It’s snowing outside. Each individual flake may be insignificant, but the overall body of effort has the power to transform everything.”
6: Abandon the Credit
While it’s understandable that we want credit for accomplishments that we worked hard for, claiming credit will never gain you friends. It will also reduce your power faster than almost any other activity.
You can either want success for those who are already friends, or you can seek friendship with those who are already successful.
No one but the creator recalls things like who had the first idea, who spoke first, or who took the first risk in the long term. Magnanimity is what people remember.
7: Show Empathy in Your Interactions
“In communication, cooperativeness is attained when you show that you value the other person’s thoughts and feelings as much as your own,” Gerald S. Nirenberg wrote.”
8: Invoke noble motives
While relationship development and business productivity are important aspects of our life, we also want to be people who make a difference. As a result, tapping into this moral desire in those you’d like to influence can pay off handsomely.
You must honor people’s natural dignity in order to properly connect with them. Appeal to noble impulses and you will be able to influence the public, as well as yourself.
9: Tell Us About Your Adventure
The true intersection of personal and professional life is becoming increasingly common–and more effective–at developing important relationships. While certain judicious boundaries will always exist at this intersection, many of the historically businesslike boundaries have been lowered or eliminated entirely today because most people have realized that the short- and long-term success of all interactions–transactional or otherwise–is dependent on the depth of the relationship. The more your path is shared with a colleague, friend, or customer, the more you may accomplish together.
tenth: Issue a challenge
Only through challenging and colliding can you bring the best out of yourself and others. A life of constant interpersonal pleasantries may appear more comfortable and tranquil, yet it is a fruitless life.
However, it is also true that the challenge is just as essential as how you respond to it. Challenges that motivate and inspire are not the same as challenges that discourage and depress.
Part 4: Leading Change Without Resentment or Resistance
1: Get off to a good start
While a present connection, whether between a corporation and its customers or between two individuals, may be strained or even in serious difficulty, beginning a conversation on a negative note is counterproductive.
Instead, start a conversation with sincere gratitude; the recipient will be more open to your views and less defensive or reluctant.
2: Recognize Your Luggage
When the other person begins by honestly admitting that she, too, is far from perfect, it is much easier to be open to a dialogue that may involve a discussion of your flaws.
The beauty of this approach is that we all make errors, so we have plenty of stories to tell when attempting to help someone feel better.
3: Point Out Errors Quietly
Leaders of all types have a terrific tool at their disposal for conveying a subtle message about the behavior they want to promote. All they have to do now is model that conduct for themselves.
Extenuating conditions can occasionally lead to blunders in life. We don’t always fail at work due to a lack of ability. Because of challenges at home or elsewhere, we may fail because our hearts and minds are not engaged. Because the leader recognizes that mistakes and failures occur in all aspects of life, they should be handled as isolated and reversible incidents rather than fatal faults.
It’s in your best interests to get them out of their depressed mood as soon as possible. Do so by softly pointing out their errors and restoring their confidence and strength.
4: Pose a question Rather than issuing direct orders,
In addition to making an order more palatable and reducing animosity, asking questions often fosters creativity and invention in problem-solving. People are more likely to take a new path if they believe they played a role in shaping it.
The majority of employees are acutely aware of their own strengths and weaknesses. While some may be evasive, most will tell you exactly what you’re thinking if you ask. A self-appraisal stage in the review process is recommended by several organizational psychologists.
Questions enable you to start a conversation–in any medium–that will lead to a better outcome for everyone involved.
Wouldn’t it be more pleasant to be asked a question rather than given an order?
5: Fault Mitigation
“Forgive and remember,” as Sutton describes it, is a crucial step in learning from mistakes and changing behavior. In his book Forgive and Remember: Managing Medical Failure, Charles L. Bosk presented the strategy for the first time.
The idea is to assist people become more accountable while dealing with the existential dilemma of failure, which can be a discouraging internal battle for everyone.
Making it safe for them [workers] to fail is a sure method to assure that they will be more willing to recognize their mistakes, recover more quickly from them, and learn more completely from them.
Five activities that leaders can take to help their staff build organizational resilience:
Recognize that failure is inevitable. Leaders can swiftly identify failures when they occur, but they can also communicate the likelihood of failure with their teams.
To build trust, encourage dialogue. The greatest way to learn from problems and cut the seedlings before they become fully grown catastrophes is to talk about them openly.
Distinguish the individual from the failure. Say “the project failed” rather than “you failed.” In the vast majority of circumstances, this is correct.
Make sure you learn from your mistakes. Otherwise, they are squandered learning and coaching chances.
Make a mechanism for taking risks and failing. Some of the emotional responses to danger and failure can be mitigated by being meticulous about how we approach them.
The legendary Italian designer Alberto Alessi described his company’s design approach as an attempt to locate the line between what is possible and what is not possible and design along it. The most effective designs are those that straddle the boundary between achievable and impossible. That is the innovation zone, the place where we may put our skills to the test and develop as people. Of course, hugging the line means you’ll frequently flop over it–you’ll fail to reach the realm of the impossible.
6: Increase the Impact of Improvement
Praise and encouragement are the two most important factors in inspiring someone to reach their full potential, progress, or face change.
The following is guidance from the Center for Management and Organization Effectiveness for complimenting others around you:
“Praise from the bottom of your heart.” Be truthful and genuine.
“As soon as feasible, give praise.” Don’t put off your decision until the next meeting, performance evaluation, or family gathering. By then, the person’s own contribution to the success has faded, and you’ve missed out on an opportunity to magnify that happiness.
“Be particular in your compliments.” It is civility, not praise, to write a simple thank-you note. People need to know exactly what you valued in their effort in order to feel like their efforts are leading them down the road you want them to take.
“Praise someone in front of others.” Praise in public is becoming easier every day, so there’s no reason not to do it.
While praise is powerful and vital, it also implies a comparison to some norm. Great leaders and people in positions of power understand that we must utilize encouragement the rest of the time.
That is what encouragement is all about: demonstrating your believe in another person’s talents, skills, and natural abilities simply because she exists, regardless of how things are going right now.
Being encouraging necessitates a unique mindset. When you look at another person, you need to be able to recognize her strengths and prospects, what she is capable of, rather than her flaws.
Tell someone you believe in their capacity to achieve a goal and support them by pointing out all of the abilities they have that will help them along the road, and they will practice until the sun comes up in the window to succeed.
By focusing on improvement, you can help others to reach their full potential.
7: Assign others a good reputation to uphold. To
People often live up to our expectations of them, no matter how low they are, according to coaches, mentors, leaders, and parents. A man will have little drive to improve himself if he feels unimportant or disrespected.
Modify the level of respect that someone obtains by providing them a good reputation to live up to in order to change their conduct. Act as if the attribute you’re trying to change is already one of the person’s most distinguishing features.
Staying Connected on Common Ground, No. 8
What is the significance of finding common ground? To effectively influence another’s attitude or conduct, a leader must overcome any potential resistance by making the person happy to accomplish what is asked.
Why shouldn’t we be aware of what our coworkers, friends, and family members fantasize about?
Linking your desired outcomes to their objectives is a simple process:
Be truthful in your words. Don’t make any promises you can’t keep.
Empathize with others. Think about what the other person actually wants.
Consider the advantages that the person will obtain if they follow your advice.
Match those advantages to the desires of the other person.
When you make your request, write it in a way that conveys to the other person that he will benefit directly.
The routine principles of corporate operation have largely broken down in digital time and space, with open access and frequent contact, and have been replaced with the basic principles of human connections.
The business of mankind remains your first priority.

About the Author

Dale Carnegie was born in 1888 in Missouri and educated at State Teachers College at Warrensburg. As a salesman and aspiring actor, he traveled to New York and began teaching communications classes to adults at the YMCA. In 1912, the world-famous Dale Carnegie Course was born. How to Win Friends and Influence People was first published in 1936 and has sold tens of millions of copies. Dale Carnegie is also the author of the bestsellers How to Stop Worrying and Start Living and The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking.

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