Homo sayswhaticus By Lance Manion PDF

Download Homo sayswhaticus By Lance Manion PDF book free online – From Homo sayswhaticus By Lance Manion PDF: With this newest collection (have you read The Ball Washer?) of irreverent short stories Manion once again asks the reader to get off the bench and get into the game as he dishes out laughs, offense and even a few poignant moments. There is no point to be made here. Only the hope that somewhere amidst all the run-on sentences, unnecessary profanity and poor grammar, readers will come away with some unique thoughts of their own. Perfect reading for artists, commuters and people who spend an inordinate amount of time on the toilet.

Some writers pander to their audience and write whatever it is they think will sell. Others are bold enough to say what needs to be said.

Then there is Lance Manion.

Writing what others won’t simply because there was no need for it to have been written in the first place.

This is his fourth collection of short stories and frankly we’re just as surprised as anyone that he is continuing to write them. But here it is.

It helps if you have a good imagination. That’s not to imply that we think if you don’t enjoy it then you don’t have a good imagination. It’s certainly not a litmus test for creativity. All we’re saying is that it doesn’t hurt if you’re a little off.

If you’re looking for us to try and talk you into downloading a free ebook then I think you’ve clearly overestimated our interest in your reading it.

But having said that, if you’ve already invested this much time in reading the description what’s the worst that could happen if you gave it a shot?

Exactly.

You’ve been warned.

Excerpt:

When you’ve got to churn out a blog every day you tend to worry about your own motives. When does writing become a chore? How do you know when you’re relating a sincere thought and when you’re just writing for shock value?
It’s hard.

Sometimes it’s just the opposite. Sometimes you’re holding something back because you’re not sure where it will lead but you know in your heart it will be nowhere good.

This topic straddles the line between both. Hold on, I swear I have no idea where this is going to go. I’m just going to start typing and hope for the best.

If you’re unfamiliar with Abby and Brittany Hensel they’re conjoined twins, each of whom has a separate head but share a single body. When I saw that they had a TV show I couldn’t help but watch. I went in, just being honest here, with the intention of making fun of them or their situation but after watching the show I felt my cynical heart thaw a little and I realized that they were pretty damn cool. I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything negative.

In fact, by the third show I was actually looking inward a little and wondering if I could find it within myself to bang them. That might sound ****** up but on some level it has to be a compliment because it was the last thing on my mind going into it. I realize that the body is only 16 but with two heads I think that makes them 32 so I was having no issues with that part of it.

I just wondered if I could find it hot.

Then I thought of something else.

And turned the channel. Fast. I just didn’t want to think about it.

I had hit the channel randomly and ended up not only going to one of my all-time favorite movies, Man on Fire, but my favorite scene in the movie. I wondered if this was somehow connected to Abby and Brittany which is why I mention it now. Rayburn (played by Christopher Walken) is being interviewed by a cop about the intentions of his friend Creasy (Denzel Washington). Both are amazing actors but together they were amazing.

Together.

… together…

I had to go back to Abby and Brittany. I had to go back and admit what I was thinking. Admit it to myself and try to find a way to live with what a completely horrible human being I am.

I wanted to date one of the heads and then cheat on her with the other head. I have no idea how it would work, I didn’t bother examining the physics of it, I just knew … KNEW … that I wanted to turn them against each other. I wanted these two heads to be fighting over me.

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