Description: Millions of people hinder their chances of quality online introductions by making simple mistakes in constructing their profiles. Avoid common errors and enhance your image.
It has to be recognized that online dating is about imagery and visual communication. A more meaningful connection develops later, if at all. Prospects have to jump the first hurdle – how you look. In this case, video chat without limits is shopping; scrolling through photos to stop at one that attracts their attention.
It’s like an online drive-in. Daters pull into a restaurant and consult the menu. Good pictures win the day.
Table of Contents
Post Quality Photos
Post several good-quality photos of your face, laughing or smiling. Only then enhance your online gallery with “action” shots doing activities or with others. Select the clearest and best image of yourself as your primary ID photograph. It should be bold and frame 90% of the box. Your online face is the window into who you are. Good black and white photos stand out with so many color ones online.
A Profile Must Have a Photo
Not posting an ID image radically diminishes your coverage. Profiles with photographs get 15x more views than profiles without visuals (personals.com). Those who say, “well, they should appreciate the real me, regardless” are fooling themselves. Human beings — and this is especially true online — are attracted first by how people look. First impressions are instinctive. Visualization is the runway and online daters must land their plane.
Avoid “Busy” Photos
Avoid the following types: there are the “car people” who pose in front of beautiful open-top sports cars or draped over a motorbike, or the “pet people” who show themselves with a favorite cat or dog (or two) squashed up against their face, or the “brood mares” who choose to photograph themselves surrounded by a gazillion babies and children, or the “ego gym junkie” flashing his abs.
Such photo choices reveal how those profilers identify themselves (petrol head, cat worshiper, mother, stud) and send mixed messages. “Am I supposed to date the cat?” “Is their car more important than me?” “Are they materialistic?” “Are they advertising for a father for all those children?” “Is he a narcissist, vain, and in love with himself?”
A simple smiling image of your face should be your online drive-in sign. It’s about you! It’s nice to show you love children or like cars, but this should be done elsewhere, not in the ID photo.
Be Witty and Fun
A bio outline should be quirky and unconventional. “Likes romantic walks on the beach and candlelit suppers” (who doesn’t?) are formulaic and clichéd. The first few lines of your bio should be different from other profiles and express something unique about yourself.
Some fun examples:
“If you love the great outdoors and mountain biking I’d love to chat…not that I want to pick out curtains or anything…(yet).”
“I love animals…next to mashed potatoes.”
People are attracted to your uniqueness and difference among thousands of other options. If you make them laugh first up, you’re winning.
Online dating is about attracting people you would like to be with. Avoid obvious mismatches by promoting online profile criteria that are important to you (smoking? Political or religious beliefs, veganism, height, distance from you). This focuses on the search pool. Be specific about who will work for you and what will not.
Writing Letters in Online Dating
You’ve already had the first contact made, whether it was a wink or some other expression of interest that are basics of online dating. Maybe it is an excellent first letter. But often people get stuck after that and feel that letter writing is artificial, and it’s difficult to connect. You don’t know what to write about and what to say.
Look at the Profile
Really. The profile of your interest is where you can get some of your best ideas from. What are the hobbies and interests expressed in the profile? If you wrote someone with an empty profile and got a response, then you could be in trouble. Why did you write that person? Purely because of the picture? Even so, you’re not lost! You can mention that the profile you read is blank, even tease a little about that and say that they must be hiding their interests or have a lot of secrets, is your interest a spy? Or maybe someone with a secret identity?
The profile also includes career and other information. If this is something that you can relate to, ask about that and how the person got into it. What does s/he like about it? Do they see themselves doing that in 10 years? Not only does it give you an opener, it tells you a little about what this person thinks of the work world and his future career.
Get Clues from the Other Person’s Letter
You’ve had at least a wink, flirt, or basic letter from the other person. Ask about it! There is no nicer opener than saying, “Hey, I noticed you noticing me. What was it that you liked about my profile?” And then go on a bit about the note or something in that other person’s profile. It’s always easy to relate and write about what the other person says. Even if you have to do a little research into it, that shows that you are genuinely interested in the other person, and not just the pictures.
Always be Polite
Never talk about sex, politics, or controversial topics in the first few emails. Save that until you know the person a little better. Maybe after a few phone calls or even a few dates, it would be better to talk about areas that tend to get people’s emotions stirred. And sex is a topic to avoid until after a few dates for sure!
When writing letters, make sure to spell-check them twice. The first is by using a spellchecker on your computer. The second is by reading it out loud to yourself. There you will notice such simple errors as using the wrong typing of a word, such as writing the word “manger” instead of “manager”, which your spellchecker won’t catch.
Don’t play-act and write what you think the other person wants to read. Just write your thoughts and opinions. And be always truthful, especially about who you are. Any lies and falsehoods are only going to come out in the long run, and then your whole relationship is gone. And you don’t want that, do you?
How to Connect Well
Meeting people on the internet is about posting quality photos that identify you simply and clearly, and avoiding extraneous extras that can confuse you. Alongside the photo appear more details in a funny, witty outline. Mismatches are avoided by posting focused criteria upfront to narrow your search.