Chasing Unicorns By Tippy Gnu PDF

Chasing Unicorns By Tippy Gnu PDF

If you’re happy, but want more happiness, you’re not greedy. You’re a unicorn chaser. I use unicorns to symbolize unique experiences, and I show how uniqueness can enhance happiness. My book teaches a meditation path that leads to more and more unique experiences and thus, more and more happiness.

Here are some excerpts:

From Chapter 1:
Happiness isn’t fun. Not during those times when we’re unhappy. Most people are generally happy, most of the time. But we do have our moments. We can’t always be happy, all the time.

But that’s no excuse. In our society, you MUST be happy ALL the time, or else people will think there’s something wrong with you. And they’ll badger the hell out of you until you paint a fake smile on your face, just to get rid of them.

This can leave you wondering if there really might be something wrong with you. And so even though you’re generally happy, you may seek ways to be happier. You may want happiness 24/7. Yes, you may want to be smiling, giggling, and chuckling, all day and all night long, just so you and everyone else will know that you’re not insane.

And yet, this is much easier said than done. Boosting your level of happiness can be hard work. Happiness is fickle, and depends on many variables, so you can’t just will it, and make it come true. In fact, you might rather try digging ditches, than work on improving your mood. Trying to be happier than you are, can be a dreadful chore.

From Chapter 3:
. . . there are some philosophers who are so stupid, they say that everything is alive. What a bunch of ignoramuses!

Actually, I follow the philosophers who say everything is alive. That’s because I make a preposterous claim. I say that life is change. And that paints me into a corner, because everything is constantly changing. Therefore I have to admit that if life is change, and if everything is constantly changing, then everything must be alive . . .

. . . So I’m going to name my philosophy Zombie Theory. By giving it this name, it allows that even dead bodies must be alive . . .

Zombie Theory, in short, states that life is change. Therefore even dead bodies are alive, because they are constantly changing through the process of decomposition.

From Chapter 5:
Unicorn Theory states that unique experiences can be as elusive and rare as spotting a unicorn. And if you’ve ever spotted one, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Doesn’t happen very often, does it?

But when it does happen, it’s one hell of a thrill. So wouldn’t it be nice if it happened more often than once in a blue moon?

My Auto-Enjoyment Theory, in Chapter 4, asserts that life is automatically enjoyed. I believe in this theory. I think most people are automatically enjoying life, and are happy. In fact, I think you are probably happy right now, even though you’re reading this book. Now that’s some strong happiness!

And if that’s the case, why the hell did I write this book? Why am I wasting my time preaching to the choir, mailing junk mail to wrecking yards, and sending sardines to Sardinia? . . .

. . . If you’re happy, and you probably are, I think you can still benefit from this book. And if you aren’t happy, then I know you’ll benefit. But if you’re happy, this book can help you to be even happier. Happiness is a good thing, in my opinion. So why not get more of a good thing?

This book teaches that change produces happiness, since life is change, and life is automatically enjoyed. It also teaches that the more unique the change, the more happiness it will produce. And that’s where this book can be helpful. I’m going to show you how to increase the uniqueness of your experiences.

From Chapter 7:
. . . if you really want meditation to be sacralized, I don’t mind. In fact, I’ll help out by suggesting a religious sounding name for this path. How about Unicorniks? I think that’s a fitting name, since I’m using unicorns as symbols of unique experiences, and since the goal of this path is to increase our unique experiences.

This is fun, naming things, so now I’m going to get carried away and name something else. I’m going to call all the theories I presented in Chapters 2 through 4, Unikonics. This distinguishes theory from practice. Unikonics discusses the mechanics of our minds, with regard to how our minds produce uniqueness and happiness. But Unicorniks involves putting the theory into practice, by chasing unicorns, and by meditating.

And so we have Unikonics and Unicorniks. I’ve already presented Unikonics, in this book, up to Chapter 4, as well as much of Unicorniks, beginning with Chapter 5. But I’m not done with Unicorniks yet. Because we haven’t discussed the most important part of the practice. And that is, meditation.

Chasing unicorns, as discussed in the last chapter, can be very beneficial. But it is not meditative. It can augment the meditative practice, and thus be part of the Path of Unicorns, and I highly recommend it for that purpose. But nothing beats actual meditation for producing unique experiences and happiness. No, nothing even comes close. . . .

. . . The problem is that the practice of mindfulness is much easier said than done. Mindfulness is fucking hard! And most people, including me, are fucking lazy. So few people stick with mindfulness long enough to enjoy most of its benefits . . .

. . . Loose mindfulness is why I call it informal mindfulness. You’re not trying to prove anything to anybody, as you might feel tempted to do while formally meditating. No, you’re simply trying to function in the real world, while paying some attention to the goings-on within your mind . . .

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